Wanna See Something REALLY Scary? Extreme Canadian Workplace Safety PSAs

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary

“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”

To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.

Over the years, we’ve seen some pretty outlandish PSA’s. From the early days of “This is your brain on drugs” these appeals for public wellbeing have reached some bizarre extremes, like comparing smoking marijuana to an act of terrorism or convincing parents that the Internet is a one-way-ticket to childhood sexual slavery. While we can appreciate the good intentions behind most every PSA, some definitely approach the level of propaganda by appealing to irrational fears.

Then again, even the most straight-forward, non-sociopolitical PSA can go too far. While no one can find fault with promoting workplace safety, a couple of Canadian PSA’s are so extreme they’ve got the potential to trigger some serious PTSD. Take a look at one example below.

While definitely R-Rated, I’ve got to admit there’s something darkly humorous about the PSA above. The message is important, but the outcome is so over-the-top, so unexpected, it feels like a prank. Plus, the initial explosion reeks of CGI, so while the worker’s accident is shocking, this advert has an air of fiction that makes it relatively easy to dismiss.

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

The follow-up to the PSA above is so shocking, so brutal, so intrinsically tragic, it’s impossible to watch it without taking pause. While considerably less explosive, it presents an up-close look at a debilitating injury and the writhing agony that follows. I guess scaring people into never leaving their homes is one way to promote workplace safety!

Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary? Paris Catacombs Video: Real Found Footage Horror

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary

“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”

To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.

After hours of frantically crawling through darkness in a desperate bid for survival, a camera is dropped, recording the final images of an intrepid explorer who was never seen or heard from again. We’re not talking about the last scene of The Blair Witch Project; this is a description of actual footage found in the depths of the Paris Catacombs, a.k.a. “The Empire of the Dead”.

Beginning in the early 1800s in response to a lack of cemetery space, the residents of Paris began relocating their dead to former mining tunnels beneath the city. Today, the remains of over 6 million people can be found in a labyrinth covering over 200 miles, most of it over 100 feet below the city streets. This nightmare world has become the domain of sightseers with the taste for the macabre, and areas of the maze are opened for tour groups. But he Catacombs also attract illegal trespassers, drawn to the darkest cavers with the hopes of discovering bizarre and terrifying mysteries.

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

In the early 2000s, explorers discovered a camera, caked in dirt and mold; the footage, estimated to have been recorded in the 1990s, shows the final moments of an unknown man who, after getting lost in the catacombs, becomes visibly distraught before abandoning his only source of light and scrambling into the darkness—presumably to his death. Check it out:

Detractors claim it must be a hoax, as the original footage isn’t available in any form. What we’ve just seen was culled from a docu-series, The Scariest Place on Earth, and was provided by documentarian Francis Freedland. While it does, in many ways, seem too scary to be true (not to mention playing out like an unofficial prequel to the found footage creeper As Above, So Below released in 2014), the only reason to perpetrate a fraud would be for money. Freedland was no doubt compensated by Scariest Places on Earth, the documentary is not available for purchase, eliminating a financial incentive. And considering Freedland himself hasn’t achieved the level of fame the footage has, the idea of a self-serving deception seems even less likely.

Decide for yourself by viewing the documentary in its entirety below. Even if you end up falling on the side of skepticism, the claustrophobic intensity and immensity of the labyrinth is a thing of wonder and terror in equal measure.

Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary? Obey the Walrus/Goddess Bunny

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary

“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”

To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.

No series dedicated to the exploration of creepy YouTube videos would be complete without an entry dedicated to Obey the Walrus. First uploaded in 2005, it quickly became a heavyweight in forums dedicated to all things bizarre and disturbing, eventually gaining a reputation as a cursed video and inspiring its own creepypasta.

Watching Obey the Walrus leaves many profoundly affected, as it forces viewers to face the fragility of the human form while casting them into the pit of The Uncanny Valley. It features a thin and twisted tap dancer, unnerving music, and an unexpected appearance from the titular Walrus. If you haven’t experienced this viral phenomenon, and you’re prepared for a shock, give it a spin below.

While there’s definitely something about Obey the Walrus that feels exploitive, the history of this famous creeper reveals the dancer is Johnnie Baima, a professional drag-queen. Crippled by polio, Baima reinvented himself as Goddess Bunny and became a minor celebrity in Hollywood’s underground transvestite clubs in the 1990s. The footage is culled from a documentary about Baima’s life, directed by Nick Bougas and released in 1998.

In a case of truth being stranger than fiction, additional footage of Baima/Goddess Bunny performing on stage can be found online, and much of it is more disturbing than Obey the Walrus.

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

The video below comes from YouTuber How to Solve whose channel is a collection of all things bizarre. It’s a biography of Baima that reveals some disturbing details about the performer’s life and includes purportedly rare footage (most likely pulled from the Goddess Bunny documentary). The poor quality parallels many of the unsettling aesthetics of Obey the Walrus, yet it’s presented without any paranormal pretenses.

For another shock, skip to the 2-minute mark; the proceeding images may haunt you for a lifetime. If you thought Obey the Walrus was bad—you ain’t seen nothing yet!

Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary? Gruesome Demonic Possession Video

Wanna See Something REALLY Scary

“Wanna see something REALLY scary?”

To horror fans who came of age in the 1980s, the line above instantly evokes memories of Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks in the opening scene from Twilight Zone: The Movie. Now, on a bi-monthly basis, I’ll be asking, “Wanna see something REALLY scary?” with the goal of shocking you with chilling footage plumbed from the darkest corners of YouTube.

While The Blair Witch Project, released in 1999, didn’t invent the found footage subgenre of horror, it certainly popularized the concept, making it a common trope throughout the 2010s. The idea of finding misplaced film or video that reveals a terrifying truth is instantly compelling, and films like The Ring and Sinister have taken this concept outside of the found-footage arena, promoting the concept of cursed media.

One of the main goals of the found-footage presentation is to blur the line between fiction and reality. From this perspective, it’s as though a filmmaker is acting as an objective third party, offering a “discovery” without validating its authenticity. And while there are indeed real-life examples of lost media revealing compelling or harrowing secrets (surveillance footage, lost cameras, etc.) has anything ever been unearthed that compares to the terror induced by movies like Blair Witch.

The Paranormal Scholar is a YouTube channel dedicated to scientific, academic explorations of supposed real-life supernatural phenomenon. While the majority of their video essays end by debunking popular urban legends and modern creepypastas, they recently explored a potentially legitimate reel of found film—and it’s utterly horrifying.

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

According to The Paranormal Scholar, the footage below was discovered in the attic of a newly purchased home in Iowa around 1973. Unfortunately, no other significant details are known—which is convenient if it’s a hoax. The video looks almost too good to be real (meaning it’s genuinely disturbing) but the fact that it can’t be immediately debunked is instantly unnerving.

The subject of this supposedly found footage is one many horror fans find intriguing: Demonic possession. Give it a spin and let us know what you think in the Comments section. Do you know anything about this mysterious footage? Do you think it’s real or a clever fake? Let the debate begin!

Got an idea for a future installment of “Wanna See Something REALLY Scary?” Hit me up on Twitter @josh_millican!

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